Surrendering My Agenda

I acted the fool out in traffic this morning and now lecture myself over my lack of self-control.

Yesterday the mower wouldn’t start which meant my 1-hour project became half a day. My wife got to hear my colorful language. Last week I was at the grocery and grumbled my way through the slow aisle at the checkout. I’m still ashamed. I could go on.

As far back as I choose to remember I have put my agenda ahead of God’s. I have urgent business to attend, don’t you see? And all my wants hang in the balance, so I blame everyone in sight and things like ill-timed streetlights. I’ll even pretend it’s God’s fault. Inner dialogue: “But doesn’t Satan, not God, likely cause these delays? Right-o. And God allows them, knowing full well I’ll have to suffer for it; or rather, my flesh will.”

I admit my problem is born of weakness—an ongoing reluctance to emulate a spiritually mature person and thereby endure life’s measured paces with dignity, with gratitude even. Good grief! Are you kidding? I’m not even close.

Then again I am.

I have the mind of Christ (1Cor 2:16). I have to keep reminding myself of this. I also have my good days when I accept that a life of constant convenience doesn’t exist in the here and now. It’s high time to get over myself. For I know the truth: God has the superior agenda, and it happens to be love-infused. It includes ridding me of my ugly parts till I seize my chances during delays and learn things like, oh, patience comes to mind, once and for all. That will be a welcomed, whittled down me.

For now, I’m still the work-in-progress version, who at least knows enough to put hope eternal in my great Savior’s exhortation, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven” (Mt 5:16).

Next time, I shall. Good riddance flesh! You won’t be missed.

I hope this encourages you today.

Kevin Murray
© 2017 All rights reserved.

3 thoughts on “Surrendering My Agenda

  1. Nailed it, Kevin! Thanks for putting into words the feelings I have about those little things here on this planet that challenge my patience. Staying focused on following Jesus and knowing I should rely on Him to control all things are two important lessons to keep in the FRONT of my brain!!

  2. So many times, I have scorned myself for my lack of patience and self-control. So many times, I have told myself that I will overcome my weaknesses, become more patient, and exercise more self-control. And so many times, I have come up short. At least I know that I am not alone. Why are we so flawed?

    I often pray for more patience. Improved self-control. Perhaps I am being too self-important. Should I be praying for you instead?

    Thanks for the encouragement, Kevin. I always enjoy your posts!

  3. I felt like I was reading about myself. I realize I am not patient with people, much less love them. I pray that God will cause me see people the way He sees them, and to remember (in the moment) that Jesus wants me to love others as I love myself. Kevin, you help me to focus on being self-less instead of self-centered.

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